Saturday, December 5, 2009

Song of the Day No. 53

I had a dream
I rode
On a unicorn
And you
Flew by
On a rocketship

We were sailing through the sky
We were sighing over a rainbow
We were soaring too high
With our baby right behind us

I had a dream
I rode
On a carousel
And you
Flew by
On a ferris wheel

We were sailing through the sky
We were sighing over a rainbow
We were soaring too high
With our baby right behind us

Cotton candy
Peppermint
Astronaut
Candy appled
Popcorn
Unicorn

We were sailing through the sky
We were sighing over a rainbow
We were soaring too high
With our baby right behind us

Song of the Day No. 52

I was a taste-tester for a cream puff factory
I had to verify that the cream was satisfactory

One day the cream caused discontent
In the assembly line there was a disconnect

The cream wasn't white, it was yellowish-brown
It made me gag, not just frown

I told the workers to hit it on the double
"If you keep this up, your sales are in trouble!"

Long story short, they found a certain worker
Had taken a nap instead of adding powdered sugar

This story has a moral and this is it
Don't be a lazy ass or your cream will taste like $#!+

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Song of the Day No. 51

A rock and roll song, obviously:

"Gimme Feedback!"

I turn my guitar up loud
So I can let it talk back
It always has an opinion
Sometime backed up with facts

I don't want a quiet guitar
That just keeps to itself
It should always talk with me
Sometimes scream or yell

Come on!
Gimme feedback!

How will I ever know
You've heard a thing I said
If you don't crank up the volume
Well into the red?

How will I know you're listening
If you never let it rip?
Help me dispel the mystery
Open up your lips

Alright!
Gimme feedback!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Song of the Day No. 50

A song about my brother in law and one about foods I like and foods I loathe.

I.

Oh, Cooper
You have an excellent beard.
Cooper, Cooper
I hafta stand up and cheer!
It is thick like a mountain man's;
I admit that I am a fan.
So let me buy you a beer.

II.

Pizza is the thing I love to eat the best
When I have a slice I feel truly blessed
But here I must be honest
If you put mushrooms on it
Then my stomach simply won't digest

A burger is delicious, if you do it right
Always cook it on the grill, never serve it fried
But may-o-naise and onions
Just give me boils and bunions
So I try to always keep them far out of my sight

Song of the Day No. 49

Here is a warning
As you wake from your dreams
It's freezing this morning
My breath is pure steam
Now stupid Ray Carter
Is face down in the stream
And my brain is working harder
Than ever before it seems

What do you do?
What do you do
-When you have a dead body on your hands?
What do you do?
What do you do
-When you realize you just killed a man?

I should do the right thing
And turn myself in
Of jealously I would sing
As they're taking my prints
He had taken my girl
Somewhere she'd never been
Messed up my whole world
An unforgiveable sin

I think that I'll run away
I'll take a bus out of town
Drifting from state to state
The law will not hold me down
They will never catch me
My feet will not touch the ground
I will be so hard to see
I will not make a sound

Song of the Day No. 48

You're gonna be next
On the chopping block
-Don't get too comfortable

You're a credit to your sex
With good taste in socks
-It's simply unbelievable

Refrain:
Watch out, now!
You're too good to be true

You've got good looks
And the brains to match
-You look so innocent

You're a very skilled cook
You've never baked a bad batch
-But don't get over-confident

They're gunning for you
Got you in their sights
-Better keep your eyes peeled

They're coming for you
Got you dead to rights
-Better kick up your heels

Song of the Day No. 47

I know it's not Christmas Eve yet. But it almost is!

The moon is out; the sky is clear.
Christmas Eve is finally here.
A million snowflakes are on the ground;
Ringing carols still resound
-It's Christmas Eve tonight!

Children just can't get to sleep;
Excitement makes their young hearts leap.
The ringle-jingle of sleigh bells
Is a sound they know so well
-It's Christmas Eve tonight!

What a lovely sight to see:
Presents underneath the tree!
Der Bingle's singing softly now
We can't wait for morning, and how!
-It's Christmas Eve tonight!