Friday, February 14, 2014

One of My (many) Favorites


I Was Mean to You Today

Things were difficult
and I was impatient.
You were trying to explain
why I must reorganize the files
on my computer, why
they all have to have project numbers,
why I can't put them
where they've always been,
what the tax consultant said,
what you need for your report
to the Board of Directors,
and it boiled down to my files
have to be re-filed, and they
have to have titles with no more
than twelve letters to leave room
for project numbers,
and I said, Well, dammit.
And you said, Don't talk like that.

You sounded pained
and I was mean to you.
I was bored and tired
and mad, and you were
trying hard. Later,
I went out in the rain.
I went to the mall
and bought us both really
expensive pillows. Down
pillows with 100 per cent
cotton covers, 400 thread count.
I have lusted after them for years,
ever since Mama told me
that she asked Grandma,
who was 86 and dying,
"If you could have anything
in the world, what would it be?"
and Grandma answered,
"A down pillow" and Mama
didn't have enough money.
I bought two down pillows for us all,
to say I'm, sorry.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Spending the Night

Our house doesn't do well in this winter storm weather. So I am spending tonight in a drafty old plantation house which is legitimately haunted. It's where I grew up. Irene.

I get the nursery. 

It's sweet, right? Except it's inexplicably the coldest room in the house. And the attic door is in here with me. It won't shut all the way. 

Beatrice sleeps in here. She says the ghosts don't like her, but they are nice to her anyway. Their faces are half happy and half sad. Their eyes are sad. They talk to each other, but not to her. I've heard them.

I shall conduct a proper blackout.

Monday, February 3, 2014


There was a tattoo design competition at school tonight. This is what I drew. I would definitely make some further edits given more time, but I like it. Because, well, I love drawing hands and I love hatching.

Last night when I finally got done with all my school stuff, I emailed a pal and asked for a challenge. That's where the text in the design came from. I thought about it a while and decided to have hands attempting a connection. I like the idea.

There were so many great submissions to the competition! Can't wait to see the outcome!

Saturday, February 1, 2014

The Most Terrifying Moment of the Year So Far

Tonight, James and I took the kids out. It was cold, so we went to Haywood Mall where there's a play area for kids. Beatrice ran right in and James went with her. Amby wanted to explore a little so he and I walked around for a few minutes.

We came back to the play area and James was white and walking in circles around the enclosed area.

Bea was gone. 

We both started searching inside the play area for her. It was really packed and it's easy to just lose sight of a kid for a minute. I thought she was in a tunnel or behind something. That's how it always is. She's never wandered off, she's just hard to keep an eye on at every second.

But then he said that she'd disappeared as soon as they'd gotten there.

It was serious. She wasn't there.

As soon as it hit me that she was gone, a few other parents started noticing and coming up to us. But right then, a mall cop came walking towards us and he had her.

She was so little. And pale. And she had a bloody nose. I could tell she had been crying.

She eventually told us that a kid had punched her and she had run away. She got lost and a lady with some little girls had helped her find the mall cop. We were all completely shaken up. She sat with me most of the rest of the time we were there. And I needed that.

It's amazing how it can seem like everything is moving so fast, but then, in that one moment, it just stops and you zero in on your only priority as a parent.