Sick Days

The kids started school a few weeks ago. Yes, in the middle of the second half of the school year. We'd been on the waiting list a while. They've been sick on and off all these weeks. It's the first time they've been exposed to germs. I guess their immune systems aren't what they oughta be. I guess I should've nursed them longer.

We were up most of last night. It was messy and noisy and adorable, as illustrated by these truly terrible photobooth family selfies. (At one point I needed to take a breather and I left Bea with my laptop. She took about 50 selfies! They are so good. I almost want to get her a phone just so she can have her own instagram. But not.)

There are two built-in beds in this room. Bea "slept" in one and Amby was in the other. I started out with Amby. There was a strange moment in the night when I realized that the extremely comfortable warmth was also wet. And it took me a beat or so to decide to get out of it. 

One of My (many) Favorites

tutorial

I Was Mean to You Today

by Pat Schneider

Things were difficult
and I was impatient.
You were trying to explain
why I must reorganize the files
on my computer, why
they all have to have project numbers,
why I can't put them
where they've always been,
what the tax consultant said,
what you need for your report
to the Board of Directors,
and it boiled down to my files
have to be re-filed, and they
have to have titles with no more
than twelve letters to leave room
for project numbers,
and I said, Well, dammit.
And you said, Don't talk like that.

You sounded pained
and I was mean to you.
I was bored and tired
and mad, and you were
trying hard. Later,
I went out in the rain.
I went to the mall
and bought us both really
expensive pillows. Down
pillows with 100 per cent
cotton covers, 400 thread count.
I have lusted after them for years,
ever since Mama told me
that she asked Grandma,
who was 86 and dying,
"If you could have anything
in the world, what would it be?"
and Grandma answered,
"A down pillow" and Mama
didn't have enough money.
I bought two down pillows for us all,
to say I'm, sorry.

The Most Terrifying Moment of the Year So Far

Tonight, James and I took the kids out. It was cold, so we went to Haywood Mall where there's a play area for kids. Beatrice ran right in and James went with her. Amby wanted to explore a little so he and I walked around for a few minutes.

We came back to the play area and James was white and walking in circles around the enclosed area.

Bea was gone. 

We both started searching inside the play area for her. It was really packed and it's easy to just lose sight of a kid for a minute. I thought she was in a tunnel or behind something. That's how it always is. She's never wandered off, she's just hard to keep an eye on at every second.

But then he said that she'd disappeared as soon as they'd gotten there.

It was serious. She wasn't there.

As soon as it hit me that she was gone, a few other parents started noticing and coming up to us. But right then, a mall cop came walking towards us and he had her.

She was so little. And pale. And she had a bloody nose. I could tell she had been crying.

She eventually told us that a kid had punched her and she had run away. She got lost and a lady with some little girls had helped her find the mall cop. We were all completely shaken up. She sat with me most of the rest of the time we were there. And I needed that.

It's amazing how it can seem like everything is moving so fast, but then, in that one moment, it just stops and you zero in on your only priority as a parent.

Life Update

School + Internship + 45 Minute Commute + A Family = No Spare Time. This is normal. I'm used to it. But it does mean that the new season of Downton has to wait until after graduation. Monday-Thursday, I leave home at 8am and get home between 6 and 7. Friday is a home day. A bless'd, welcome home day.

If you aren't on facebook and friends with me, then you probably haven't seen my current profile pic. This is what it looks like. Amn't I glorious? (That's a word, you should use it.)

It's my last semester. I'm learning HTML/CSS coding, prepping my portfolio for the job search, learning about Islamic art, learning about conspiracy theories. Fun fun.

My internship is at HUB-BUB. I do graphic design, etc. "Etc." means some light marketing, generating ideas for exhibitions and implementing them, wine tasting and bar tending. I love working there! It's an awesome organization and the people are just my kind.

Watching/Listening/Wearing/Reading/Wanting

Etsy

Boy, I've added a ton of fresh stuff to my shop. There's a range of different sizes even though there's mostly just my own body modeling. Don't let the pictures fool you, look at the measurements in the listing.

Heads up, I'm planning a new name and look for my etsy shop. Excited!

SHOP

Word

"...we must remember, that while language constitutes a barrier, poetry itself gives us a reason for trying to overcome the barrier. To enjoy poetry belonging to another language, is to enjoy an understanding of the people to whom that language belongs, an understanding we can get in no other way…" -excerpt from T.S. Eliot's Nobel Prize banquet speech, 1948

Remembering T.S. Eliot, who died on this day, Jan 4, in 1965.

Lucy, An Amazing Gifter

Now that Christmas is a distant memory, this may seem late to mention. But my friend Lucy is a really gifted gifter. Here's what she gave me for Christmas this year, in a sugar skull/pop art bag, on New Year's Eve, over sushi:

A hand-drawn and lettered Dune-themed card that she made.

A message in a bottle necklace in which she hand-lettered an Edna St. Vincent Millay quote.

She customized the wrapping paper with Julian Koster of Neutral Milk Hotel and glitter.

A box containing:

star confetti

mac'n'cheese lipgloss

cake vodka

an out of print Lemony Snicket book

Every single detail of this was thoughtful, personal and special. Gifting is a talent and she's got it!