What To Do In Case Of Fire

My brother Hudson is a larger-than-life character. He is Lazarus Long and he is Hemingway and he is Byron. Brilliant, eccentric and, at times, self-destructive. It should go without saying that people like this do not have ordinary campfire experiences; They go up in flames.

And when they are convalescing, the nurses bring them beer.

The event took place last Saturday night after Hudson had worked a long week and pulled a couple no-sleepers. He lives in the hills of West Virginia where parties are held outdoors, far from running water and electricity. Hudson was with strangers and he was manic. Since I was not on the scene at the time, I cannot testify to what actually occurred, but the long and short of it is that Hudson was transported three hours away to the nearest Burn Intensive Care Unit. His right side was covered in burns, complicated by gasoline.

Mama and I drove up there on Sunday. A six hour drive to his home in Hinton and three more hours to Huntington. (You know, Marshall University as in We Are Marshall and Go Herd?) We had no idea how long we'd be gone, but it turned out to be an entire week!

Because of the high risk of infection (in what is surely the least sanitary hospital stateside), visiting hours are more or less rigid. We couldn't stay the night. A nurse referred us to a hospitality house about 20 minutes away. It proved to be a Godsend. Great accommodations (including a double kitchen and private room with bath), lovely old ladies preparing home-cooked meals every other day and a price that couldn't be beat.

The first few days, I took pictures and was all upbeat. Mama and I did our best to advocate for Hudson and make him comfortable, all the while becoming more weary ourselves. It started to drag. Thinking every day that the next day we'd be outta there, only to get our hopes raked down by the bowels of disappointed endeavors, I lost the will to carry my camera.

Our ritual sundowners each evening were the highlight of our days. (Did you know about this?)

Finally, on Sunday, he got his discharge orders and we made the trip back to Hinton. Hudson was awfully uncomfortable in the car. But I'd found a copy of Ender's Game in Huntington and read aloud to my captive audience for those three hours which made the time fly. While he recuperates, Hudson will stay with his employers. They and my cousin Andrew will help care for him.

Mama and I took turns driving and reading aloud all the way back to Greenville, SC. We got about 3 quarters of the way through the book. (We left off at that part where the older boys gang up on Ender in the showers.)

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Here is how Hudson looked when we got to him:

(That's a beer he's got! They brought him one with every meal, including breakfast.)

This is what we had to wear to be in his room:

This is our room at the Hospitality House: 

So, yeah. This should pretty well explain my absence.

A Letter From Hudson

Hudson, you newer readers may be interested to know, is the eldest of my five younger brothers. He is one of a number of black sheep in our family. He roughs it up north in a green and wild place. We write letters. Long, almost indecipherable letters. 

(These excerpts were the best I could do. Hard to translate, ya.)

::::::::::::::::::::

Making coffee involves an ongoing mutiny among the ranks -- of a course colander, a fine screen and a scrap of t-shirt -- tastes great with condensed milk but makes a scalding mess first. Or can become so unless cap'n is severe (after aussie bad-boy Russell Crowe fashion, right?) yet patient. I wonder why I don't just buy a dag blamed french press... "This isn't Thailand" I often mutter around puddles of caffeinated, spilt mud. Shucks.

I now have Toby for going around and the like (my little red toyo-truck), a triple feature duo (one of each) Chuck Norris and Bill Murray, a portable chimbly, a dozen sundry splinters (for a while at least), some firewood, an egg (chkn) connection, no mustache, poison ivy (barely, at this point), a good solid though not windproof outdoor shower screen and three magnets.

I love you sisterwoman
Hudson
P.S. I can't read it either, sorry.

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I'm not sure what pleases me more here, that he got rid of his mustache or that his outdoor shower now has a privacy screen. Either way, a visit is more likely than before.

These are pictures taken by (most likely) Ali last summer. Used without permission. 

Consider the Ravens

One of the best things about this holiday season for me was getting to see Hudson, my brother who lives in the frozen north, West Virginia. He only comes to visit every few months and we write letters intermittently between his visits. 

Hudson lives on a mountain and works the land. He spends a considerable amount of time alone and I believe he must spend most of that time reading. His letters are laced with quotes and references. 

He left me feeling inspired to read more. Specifically my Bible, but generally everything. Classics and anything interesting. Because your mind is a palace and why fill it up with images from a bright, flashing screen when you can fill it with wonder and intrigue and complexity of thought? Hudson has a million references to make his own experience more historically resonant, by which I mean, he can see how what he sees and does echoes what has come before and parallels ideas that great minds from the past have expressed. 

It is a wonderful thing, a head full of thoughts.

image via pinterest

This Week :: a link and list post 1

via

1. Hudson came to town. We all gathered at Irene and ate good food (onion stuffed roasted chicken that Hudson earned for a day's work on a farm, beets, french bread, gazpacho and some cherry tomatoes from our garden). Then, standing around on the huge front porch talking and laughing I thought there were surely enough couples for a dance. We danced this one until my shoes fell apart. Literally. And it was nice to catch up with Hudson. He gave me a really good idea for the upcoming school year.

2. James and I got sucked into Firefly. We did a week-long marathon, watching an episode or two (or three!) a night. Shiny! But it's a gorram shame it got cancelled. Shiong mao niao! (It's not as bad as it could be though, thanks to this.)

3. Summer Project Update: I made three awesome book covers. Th'ain't completely finished, but they are pretty much there. Just some tweaks and off to print!

4. I bought a bikini. It looks like an American flag, it's from Wal-Mart. This is the kind I am used to wearing. Got tired of weird tan lines.

5. Have you looked at my tumblr page lately? I changed it. If you click on a picture, you might see more than is on the main page. Enjoy.

Bird Days, Day 3

Last night James did a Blue-Gray Gnatcatcher and I did a Red-breasted Nuthatch. They were so hard!!! I think part of it may have been that Hudson (my brother) came over with some beer and we all talked while James and I painted. On the one hand, it was a real treat because we don't get to see Hudson so much these days. But on the other hand, we weren't able to really shift into the zone. The paintings turned out just fine, but I don't feel the same way toward my nuthatch as I do my warbler from Day 2. Another factor is that we got big heads and chose some pretty challenging angles to conquer. Maybe with more concentration we would have been up for the challenge. Who knows. Let's hope Day 4 treats us a little better.

My Brother, Hudson

Hudson is 22, I think. He is pretty tall and has dirty blond hair. He is in school for bio-chemistry or some such thing, sings in the church choir, currently makes pizza for a living and enjoys deep conversations over a beer. He is looking forward to marriage, but he hasn't chosen a bride yet. Beatrice loves to cuddle with him. He hand sews and he is most at home in the woods. He drives a volvo. Oh, and he has a tattoo.

Lou and Me

So yesterday morning when I heard the news of Lou Reed's death, two memories came to me.

I first listened to Lou Reed with Daddy. We didn't listen to rock'n'roll at home due to being Southern Baptist/Presbyterian. So it was a really neat thing whenever I got to ride with Daddy in his old pick-up truck and it felt sinful but safe. You know? I loved Satellite of Love and New York Conversation. It was just an old cassette tape is all.

But I have another Lou Reed related memory that's even better. Hudson and I, when we lived down in Charleston, had a perfect day. We drank sangria in the park and fed animals in the zoo. It was a slightly overcast day and we went to a wildlife preserve that you just kind of hike through. So it was very remote and private on a day like that. A Sunday Morning... Ok in my memory, that is true, not sure about reality. We found a side trail and had a picnic of cheap fruity wine and muffins. We saw bison and fed bears. And every time I hear Perfect Day, I think of Hudson and that day.

Aaawww

This website makes me cry: The Burning House. I saw it on free people this morning and had to check it out. Did you lie awake as a kid thinking about what you would grab if your house was on fire? I think everybody must have. I had plans for how to get my 2 sisters and 5 brothers out.

I would run into Isobel's room and wake her. Drag her to the nursery, alerting the boys on the way. Put Emma in Isobel's arms and Raleigh in Hudson's. I would make them all go ahead of me down the stairs so I could make sure nobody got left behind. And we'd all yell for Mama and Daddy. Once we got outside and well away from the house, I'd count. Mama, Daddy, Isobel, Hudson, Cooper, Reuben, Justus, Raleigh, Emma.

But if the stairs were aflame, I had a Plan B. Wake Isobel and go straight to the nursery. Grab the babies and go to the boy's room. Their window isn't super high so we'd be able to make it to the ground, probably with not more than a sprained ankle here and there. Once I got all the kids away from the house, I'd smash through one of Mama's and Daddy's windows and wake them.

Of This Whole Year

I was thinking today about what I'm most thankful for just in this past year.

It turns out that what seemed like the worst thing (Hudson [inadvertently] lighting himself on fire) developed into the best experience of the year for me. I had never spent that much time one-on-one with Mama. It was so wonderful.

A week-long trip. Huntington, West Virginia. Driving around, finding our way, lots of good discussions, being there for Hudson, worrying about lodging, having our particular travel rituals develop, enjoying our mutual guilty pleasures (only because what we looked forward to all day went against the Hospitality House regulations), laughing and having running jokes, reading aloud to each other. All of it, all of it. Just being together.

My love for Mama was a different and special love after that week. And that is what I am most thankful for this year.

How about you? An event or experience? Something you accomplished or gained? Something you overcame? A realization?

Home

I started to feel really hemmed in recently. Most days, I am in our house all day with both kids because we have just the one car that James takes to work. There are so many huge things going on in the world from Snowden to Istanbul to DOMA and Wendy. But it's all I can do to get these children fed and exercised and most days even that is a struggle. Things have been hard with Bea.

But I don't want to feel hemmed in. This life is my choice and I need to just make the best of it for what it is now. This too shall pass. Every time we go to anywhere, people tell me to "enjoy them while they are young because they grow up so fast." I just smile.

Anyway, while we were stuck here this week, I finally moved in!

We've been here well over a year now, yet our living room walls were bare and our sofa had no pillows. Recently new neighbor stopped by and she asked if we just moved in. Yeah, it was bad.

The first thing I did was cover this chair. We call it the Hudson Chair because Hudson's the one who pulled it out a dumpster back when we lived in Charleston. The seat and back have stains and holes, but these cushions cover them right up:

Then I put some art on the walls. It is all either by myownself or people we know:

Then I covered every pillow I could find with fabric I had lying around, re-arranged some chairs, hung up more art and brought in some plants!

I made a special corner for the kids. It is for when they get too mad to participate in family life and need to cool down. It has books. So far Amby hasn't had to sit there, but Bea spends a lot of time in it!

Brought to you by the letter

When Beatrice sees this block she says, "Hudson!" Too cute, huh?

Yesterday...

was a good day! We played and played. Then around 11 am (right after Beatrice's morning nap) I got the brilliant idea to go on a picnic. So I loaded up a bag with baby food, Hudson's quilt (I didn't know if it might be a bit wet, so I didn't risk bringing her quilt), some monkeys and a soccor ball. Off we went and it was COLD! We didn't stay more than 10 minutes.

When we got home- boy, was she hungry! I gave her some bread to munch on while a fixed lunch. I guess we'll have to wait a few more weeks to get some real picnic weather.

Then to top it all off, when I got home from work last night I got to cuddle her to sleep...

Four

Do you remember being four?

I do. It's pretty vague, but I remember bits and pieces, like snapshots.

That's when we moved from the trailer onto the farm. That's when Hudson got born, bringing the total number of kids up to 4. I played with G. I. Joes and spent most of my time outside. Pretending was a big thing for us. I was afraid of cows, but overall the world was a good, safe place and things always turned out fine. I had a child's faith in God and my parents.

From my parents' accounts, I was excessively silly, optimistic, eager and empathetic, but I don't remember those things. However, those very words are the ones my closest friends and family use to describe me now!

My point is that when we are very small children, we are already ourselves. We gain a lot from life experience and education and all that good stuff. But our basic identity and personality are already there.

This is on my mind because on Friday, Bea will be four years old. I see a lot of interesting traits in my daughter. Beatrice is a wild thing in so many ways. She appreciates the value of good manners and does her best to behave, but is independent. Fiercely so.

She creates environments  It's something she's always done and she has particularly developed this skill since we've relaxed about room tidiness. She'll pull her mattress onto the floor and move the bed out from the wall and spread linens around and makes piles here and there so that her room is divided into various regions. It looks like a tornado swept through, but she likes that. She's into tornadoes. And volcanoes and earthquakes and tsunamis and hurricanes.

Another interesting thing about Beatrice is her loathing of clothing, lol. She prefers seamless garments. Like Gandhi. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I make her be modest if we go out, because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, but around the house, I let her go like this:

Beatrice is inventive, curious, stubborn and silly. That's how she is now, that's how she's been these four years. I expect that as an adult, those will still be some of her defining characteristics.

Poetry Night #2- Valentine Edition

Emma frosting and sprinkling the red velvet cupcakes.

Plenty... plus lemonade and red wine!

Daddy acting silly before sharing some beautiful and touching poems by Christopher Morely.

Emily looked pensively at the wine as she geared up to give a reading of a  Donne poem.

James was in the mood for some Ogden Nash! Then Nikki and John sang a fun duet. "How could you believe me when I said I loved you when you know I've been a liar all my life?"

Hudson in the aftermath.

Finals

This week is finals! So I made it through pretty much. Just one left tomorrow morning. Am I studying? NO! I am painting my nails and drinking wine and I wrote a letter to Hudson and I am playing with my wig. I finally got the bowl cut I've always wanted.

(Looks can be deceiving, but often they are not. Judge away, my friends.) 

This Room!

Beatrice is getting so big! And what a roller coaster- she is full speed ahead. I want to enjoy each moment, each dimple. But she's always looking for the next exciting thing and doesn't have time for all this cuddling and smushing together of faces...

Here's her nursery, one of my favorite places in the world... And good thing! I sure spend a lot of time in this pink little room.










Just so you know... the panda was Gramma's, the crib was Raleigh's and Emma's, the quilt on the chair Gramere made for Hudson, the changing table a gift from Jake and Lucy, the hen quilt Gramere made for me ("then i will" said the little red hen and she did), the awesome lamp was Mama's when she was a child, the cross-stitch in pink and blue above the crib is a verse that Mama did for me when I was little and afraid of the dark, and (not pictured because the camera battery died) there is another cross-stitch that Alyx and Matthias had in their room as kids that Mama did that says "Jesus Loves Me" that Aunt Sandy sent all the way from Colorado for my baby! Oh, and the quilt in the crib is Beatrice's Special Blanket made by Mama. And the paper cranes are for world peace.

Dream a Little Dream

origins may be found

I love dreams. They can be strange and fascinating, beautiful with a bittersweet twinge. They can conjure long forgotten memories or give insight into life events by revealing what's happening down in the subconscious.

I do not often share my own dreams simply because, no matter how fascinating it is to one's self, they say nobody really wants to hear other peoples' dreams. But I do. I love to hear what my friends are dreaming! Especially if I have an idea of what they are involved in during waking hours. It's so much fun to make connections and "interpret."

Hudson shared some of his dreams over the hospital week. They were just as strange as you might expect from him. It surely must be true that the more you fill your brain with ideas, the more ideas will show up in your dreams.

Had any interesting dreams lately?

What I Wore :: How Doth The Little Crocodile

This Summer I am trying hard not to wear jeans or shorts very much at all. Just dresses and skirts. This wrap around was a fun find. The first time I wore it, I paired it with a bright red shirt. At school, a number of people said I looked patriotic. I don't think the crocodiles have the same effect. I love this shirt because it reminds me of my brother Hudson who has a crocodile tattoo. 

skirt: thrifted

top: a gift from an amazing artist