Saturday, April 13, 2013

Ladies (part two)

This is a follow-up to yesterday's post. I got feedback here and on facebook that women are more often called "bitch" than "disrespectful."

Being talked down to and told you are disrespectful is different than blatantly being called a bitch. When someone stoops to name-calling and vulgarity, I automatically see their lack of control and it's not as likely to make me doubt myself. I see it as a reflection of their nature more than mine!

Being called disrespectful makes me question my place in the system. Whoa, was I disrespectful? Am I getting too big for my breeches? Was I inappropriate? I turn it over and over in my mind and try to see it from their side, see myself as wrong. But I know myself and my motivations. I value kindness. And although I joke all the time, I am very conscious of appropriate behavior. Gosh, am I polite!

Therefore, when a manager or teacher (etc) calls me (or implies that I've been) disrespectful, I can't help but see it as an appeal to the deeply-rooted idea in our society that some people are superior to others, due to sex, race, opportunity, privilege, etc.

But do the credentials of our elitist-run system relate to an inherent hierarchy that justly demands my respect or are we all equals here?

Is there ever an occasion in which I ought to suck up to a man or anyone else? No. Sucking up is disrespectful in my book. It is flattering someone's ego and I'm not into that. I believe that all God's children should be treated with respect and dignity, which I can show by meeting on a level.


  1. We are all equals here, but some are more equal than others.

  2. I agree. I am definitely not the most polite person, but I have had people call me disrespectful about things I wasn't being disrespectful about at all and it did make me reflect a lot more about my behavior. Especially behavior I ended up concluding was not out of line. I know when I'm out of line.

    I've also been in a situation mediated by someone that called me a bitch for acting the way I acted but made excuses for the other person (a male) for the way he acted when we were both acting in a similar way. How does that make sense at all? But like you said, it said a lot about this person that she chose that word and then had the double standard. Whether I am overly aggressive in some situations or not, I choose not to associate with people that perpetuate that way of thinking.

    Disrespectful is the professional equivalent of being called a bitch and in the adult world it is the most often used term to quiet someone down who is saying something the other person does not want to hear. Even in a professional setting men can approach a subject or disagreement with a level of aggression that females are never expected to use.

    And as you said, it's not just limited to men. I've faced that kind of treatment in class from teachers when I knew they were wrong an I was the only person that dared speak up. And it has only ever happened to me when someone was asserting power over me.